Motherhood, Work, and Ministry
And as someone wiser once said, “let me be a woman…”
Happy February friends! In this letter you’ll find…
A letter to the girls on reflections from wrestling with calling and womanhood.
Bible study Q&As, specifically about the studies I've written.
A list of resources we’ve been loving.
Pictures :)
Dear Lee Girls,
Motherhood, Work, and Ministry…
Those 3 concepts were heavy on my heart for all of 2024. And they’ve come with a myriad of emotions, questions, and prayers. First, where does each start and end? Can these things all be done by the same person? Do they need to be done separately? Do they need to be smashed all together? Does one of them have priority over the other and if so, what does that mean?
I don’t pretend to have answers to any of these questions, but I’m going to take a moment and write you a letter while these things are swirling around in my head.
I have written other places that I never ever imagined being a working mom. But that presupposition has changed and evolved over time. You will learn very soon that a lot of people have ideas about what a woman should be and they share those ideas pretty assertively and freely. This is true in the Christian world, too. A much wiser woman than me named Elisabeth Elliot once wrote a book called “Let Me Be a Woman…” and she wrote to her daughter about how, amidst all the noise and opinions, she wanted women to live in the freedom of being who God made them to be — a woman. (Now, Elisabeth expressed strong opinions about what it means to be a woman that I don’t necessarily agree with… but it’s hard to argue against the fact that her heart and aim was for women to feel free to be what God wanted them to be…) And that is a question, isn’t it? God is our creator, what did He create women for? What is a woman?
In 2 more seminary classes I’m going to get to take Hebrew Exegesis — that’s a class where I’ll get to study and analyze a Hebrew text of the Bible. I haven’t commited to a text yet, but I’m eyeing Genesis 2, where God creates the woman. I think I need that one. I have so many questions. And I can’t wait to see what I might find… But here are some 101 things I know from various sermons and books I’ve read: the word for ‘woman’ is Ezer, עֵ֫זֶר. And Ezer means Helper. The other times this word “עֵ֫זֶר” is used is to talk about God Himself— in the way God was a Helper to Israel. The other significant way it is used is to describe a military ally — a nation who would be a “helper” in times of war. From what we see in scripture, God defines woman as a helper in a beautiful, fulfilling, whole, and dignified way.
Many people reject God and His definition of “woman” and try to come up with their own. But I don’t really think God’s people, the Church, have embraced God’s definition either, and sometimes we tend to come up with more boxed-in and specific definitions for “woman”. Sometimes we define womanhood based on the roles and positions women have or the roles people think they should have. For example, in my own definition of womanhood, I used to see myself as a mother and I thought everything else was an extra add-on. Motherhood is good and beautiful work that I love, but I think things go wrong when we try to define womanhood in very specific ways like that. (Like, Woman=mother, Woman=Wife, Woman=A+B+C, etc). As I tried to live out my own definition, when ministry opportunities came, like teaching and writing, I felt like I couldn’t do those things without apologizing or feeling shame because it didn’t fit the “definition” of “woman” I had pressed myself into. I started to just add things to motherhood and talk about them as if they were “extra”. But my time started to be stretched and something needed to change. I started to sense a real calling and a real desire to invest and take ministry seriously, but I had already labeled writing and teaching as just something “extra” I did during nap time, so that’s how I started to think about it and talk about it. “Extra”. But hidden under this label was this deep feeling of obligation that I had to call it “extra.” That I couldn’t call it a main thing because as a woman, my main thing was motherhood and it wasn’t allowed to be anything else. But was that true? Is a woman primarily a mom who does extra study on the side? Is that what it means to be a woman? That didn’t seem right, I started to ask questions. Motherhood is good and beautiful work—but was it the only work I was called to? Maybe I could be a Bible teacher and a mom. Maybe I could go to seminary and I didn’t have to talk about it and think about it as “extra”, but I could really be serious about it. Maybe writing and ministry could be a really important part of who God made me to be as a woman. Maybe I don’t have to be a Mom with extra activities but I can be a woman… Can I just be a woman? What is a woman? If a woman is first someone made in the image of God to be pleasing in His sight, to be a helper, עֵ֫זֶר, like her Creator, maybe that can mean more than my own limited definition.
This all makes me think of you girls, too. Being a woman means you are made in God’s image to be like your Creator Helper God, and this comes with a beautiful freedom I hope you learn to love and enjoy one day. Another wiser woman recently told me that it is good for you girls to be able to see me do things I love and that I’m good at… I trust that that’s true. God has prepared good works for me to walk in and He has prepared good works for you to walk in, too…
That’s what makes me want to borrow Elisabeth’s phrase… Let Me Be A Woman… and I do hope she’ll understand that I’m using it a little differently than she did in her book. But I think she would appreciate the search for what it means to be a woman. A woman can be more than one person’s limited definition because she is first and foremost created in God’s image to glorify Him… that’s really good news.
2024 was the year I cried out, “let me be a woman…” in ways I never expected I would.
I want to be free to be who God made me to be: a woman— a loved and forgiven whole person with needs and desires and dreams, made in God’s image to glorify and enjoy Him.
I’m still asking so many questions… for me and for you. Here are some things I learned about myself, womanhood, and work this year that I hope and pray may trickle down to the way we love God and one another….
My different callings as a woman don’t have to be separate or compete with one another. I can be both a Bible student and a writer and a mom. Charis and I are writing a Bible study for kids together! And that’s exciting and that’s something that God has uniquely wired me to be able to do as someone who is a Bible teacher and Charis’s mom.
When one role like writing or seminary requires that I need space or extra help and time away from my kids, that is not a bad thing but it is simply a wise stewardship of my time. There should not be guilt or shame for making decisions like that. I can be both wise with my time with my motherhood-work and with my Bible student/teaching work.
Wanting and pursuing goals and dreams apart from motherhood does not mean that I love and enjoy my kids less. (And I do not need to feel guilt and shame for having goals and dreams). Having desires (both within and outside of motherhood) is a result of being a whole person, a woman made in Gods image with desires for His kingdom.
We have a book that we love called “It’s Good to be a Girl…” by Jen Oshman and you’ve probably noticed that it’s one of my favorites to read to you. One of my favorite parts says, “Helpers can defend and rescue people in harms way, Helpers can give and protect life, Helpers are brave and helpers make peace, Helpers can lift those who are down…” And this page has pictures of firefighters, doctors, teachers, mommies, and friends. Women, helpers, can do all of these things in so many ways because they are made in the image of their Helper God. You don’t have to feel shame for not fitting into someone else’s category of what they think a woman should be… you have permission to be a the woman God made you to be….
You are women: loved and forgiven whole women with needs and desires and dreams, made in God’s image to glorify and enjoy Him.
I still have so many questions and I know you will too. The wonderful thing about scripture is that when you dig into the answers they are always more gracious and more wise that we could have imagined. I’m so excited to explore them together…
Safe in God’s Grace,
Mom
Bible Study Information
Next week on social media I’m going to be sharing some FAQs on how to use the Bible studies I’ve written over the past several years and I thought I would share them here, too! Skip this section if you already have plans for your studies and you aren't looking for something new… But I would love to be a help to you if you think these studies may be a good fit for you this spring or this summer! Here’s some information…
FAQs:
Q: Are these studies available on Amazon?
A: Short answer: some of them are, but they may be the earlier versions without the scripture included.
Long answer: The studies used to be available on Amazon, but I no longer work directly with Amazon because we had issues with the covers being off-centered, blurry and/or cut improperly among other issues. I now use another print-on-demand publisher (print on demand means I don’t have to make trips to the post office because they print and ship them for me :)). Shipping will take about a week or so (so you will need to plan accordingly for the lack of 2-day shipping), but hundreds of books have gone out with no issues! That’s where the link in my profile will take you if you are interested in purchasing a study. :) OR Habakkuk, Psalms, Sermon on the Mount, and Jonah are available on Bookshop.org which is an online retailer that supports independent bookstores! :)
Q: Are these to be used independently or in groups?
A: Either!
The studies include questions and teaching that are helpful for an independent study/devotional time. They also have been used in small groups for retreats and in home Bible studies as group members work through the questions and lean on the written teaching together. In larger church settings, they are used as the Bible study workbook for a study with teachers teaching through the chapters each week.
Q: How much “homework” is there for these Bible studies?
A: Each week has about 1.5 hours of homework. That includes the questions and teaching and those can be broken up between 3-4 days. Message me if you would like to see a sample week!
Q: How would you recommend using this in a small group?
A:
Have one person lead discussion or take turns leading discussion
Read and discuss Observation and Interpretation questions.
Read and talk through Commentary and teaching together.
Discuss application and reflection questions
Pray to close.
(There is obviously flexibility here, but this is just a suggestion that I have seen work well :))
“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven
and do not return there but water the earth,
making it bring forth and sprout,
giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,
so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,
and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.”
Isaiah 55:10-11
From top to bottom left to right: (because I just love sharing about books and these are a blessing to us!) Here are some recommendations for your next library visit or for your next time looking for resources :).
Polly and the Screentime Overload and Arlo and the Keep-out club are our latest favorite read alouds. We love this series by Crossway that teaches gospel-centered living and obedience through story.
Long Story Short is our current family devotional and its been so helpful. We love that we read through the real Bible (the girls have been through so many beloved storybook Bibles it’s time to change things up…). But these devotionals only take about 5-10 minutes and the girls love the engaging questions that go with the scripture. I also enjoy the way it alternates through the Old and New Testaments to help point us to Jesus! Its been such a blessing so far.
This book on St. Valentine in the Courageous series by Voice of the Martyrs is what we've been using to start talking about St. Valentine with Valentines day coming up. (its such an amazing story!). In the denominations/traditions we have been it we do not usually learn a lot about the saints so we have really enjoyed this series to help us catch up— we enjoyed the St. Patrick one as well!
It’s Good to be a Girl is the awesome book I mentioned in the letter above :)
The girls got Yoto players for Christmas and they've been really cool to explore… (it’s like a screen free audiobook player) They have all kinds of books but I'm showing you this one because I think its so cool that Kaleidescope kids Bibles has yoto cards! Charis asked me the other day if she could listen to the book of John while having her quiet time and that was obviously a joy to say yes to.
As always I’ll leave you with some pictures of sweet memories… only 4 more months in Charlottesville and we are soaking up our time!
Until next time, friends :)
Angela Lee
Love this reflection on being a woman!